What NOT to say to someone with a brain injury…
- “I know what you mean…I’ve got a terrible memory too!” Sure, we all forget things, but an injury to the brain can stop memories being stored and/or retrieved. Being forgetful and having memory problems as a result of brain injury are worlds apart.
- “But you don’t look disabled!” The cognitive, emotional, and behavioral effects of brain injury can still be present long after any physical injuries have healed. Sadly, too many people judge disability purely on what they can see.
- “Move on and stop dwelling on what happened!” One to avoid at all costs. The effects of a brain injury can last a lifetime and a person can’t simply decide to ‘get better’ and move on.
- “You should be back to normal by now!” Where to start with this one. No two brain injuries are the same and no two journeys to recovery should ever be compared.
- “You’re tired? At your age!” Fatigue is a very real and debilitating effect of brain injury. Tasks that most of us take for granted can require much more effort. Getting told you’re lazy isn’t helpful.
- “It’s all in your mind!” Brain injury isn’t something that can be controlled by simple conscious thought, so there’s little more frustrating for a person with a brain injury than being told to ‘snap out of it.”
- “Chin up – there’s always someone worse off!” When trying to adapt to an entirely new life after brain injury, it doesn’t always help to know that others may be dealing with worse – as defined by someone who doesn’t understand what you are going through.
- “Are you sure you should be doing that?” An essential part of the rehabilitation process is relearning lost skills by pushing yourself to do challenging tasks. Although often said by people wanting to help, having your ability judged by someone else can be extremely frustrating.
- “I know someone who had a brain injury and they’re fine now!” No two brain injuries are the same! While it can be a motivation to hear of other people making good progress, it certainly isn’t helpful to be judged for not recovering as quickly as them.
- “But you were able to do that yesterday!” People who say this don’t realize the fluctuating nature of a brain injury, which is often down to fatigue. In some cases it can be because they did a task yesterday that they can’t do it today.